“Today I am a woman torn between the terror that everything might change and the equal terror that everything might carry on exactly the same for the rest of my days.”
(Adultery, Paulo Coelho)
The idea of life terror in this book is quite bothered me, since my daily life is a 9-5 (actually 8-5) kind of life. I starts to think that I might still in this routinity for the rest of my life.
I starts my day while thinking what I’m gonna wear, what I should edit or do, what I have for breakfast and lunch, whom I should call and the rest of work stuff. I hate numbers so I barely check the clock. And then arrived at the office, have breakfast while turning on the computer and checking what I’ve done yesterday. Starts to edit a pile of draft, checking the content, spelling and the phrase. Sometimes I make one or two or more phone calls to my authors. Say hi, a little jokes and asks ‘how are you?’, a little formal-work laugh, and asks about their draft, might give them a little push so they send the draft on time. That sort of thing and always in the same order.
Do I want to have the exactly same routine for the rest of my life?
I might say no. I don’t even want to think about it. Hell no, that’s what robots do, not human. We are a lifetime learner, multiple experiences waiting to be explored. It’s a terrible nightmare to have that kind of monotonous life. Too boring, I don’t feel alive, I’m a zombie.
On the other hands, I wouldn’t mind to live the exact same life forever. Why? Because I still hear someone adore me for what I did. They want to be me, the editor. I’m living someone else’s dreams. My life is stable, no need to risks myself in a sort of risky life.
Ah, too tired to talk about everything. I’m done. Night, everyone. Hope you have a good dream and wake up with a great feelings.
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